When 'Mummy' just doesn't feel like enough.
So it's a beautiful sunny Saturday and I find myself sitting at my big new dining table in my big new house feeling, well, kind of like I'm missing out on something. Do you ever get that feeling that being Mum just sometimes isn't enough?
While I hung up yet another load of washing this morning, did the dishes yet again, and vacuumed the floor, I found myself wishing I was somewhere else. My family is on their way to a spontaneous wk end away down the coast, my long time friends are bushwalking up the mountain and my church friends are all brunching together. But I am here, with husband sleeping off a gastro bug and bub and I still not fully recovered. Maybe it's the being stuck at home all week sick that has got me feeling this way, or the insane emotional waves I get while pregnant, or perhaps it's just the reality that we are all on this pursuit in our lives.. the pursuit of happiness.
Thinking of the days gone by, spent with loved ones and those beautiful friends that hold such a dear place in your heart. Thinking of days spent travelling and exploring new places. Thinking of dancing into the night under the stars in Kenya, tasting deli delights in Italy. Thinking of those younger years when I could write music all day long, read in the sun, and then walk and laugh in the moonlight. Thinking of those times spent studying and learning, full of dreams and visions for the future. Thinking of all those big brown eyes and little rugged hands that wanted to hold mine, and days spent with a classroom of little hearts that so longed for love. Thinking of a God breathed purpose, unknown yet wonderful at the same time. And somehow all these things feel like they are just slipping through my fingers, getting further and further out of my reach.
Yet, despite all this, I put Toby down for his morning nap, he puts his arms tightly around my neck and rests his head on my shoulder. He says 'Mumma' while holding me close and in that moment, my heart is full and there is no where else I would rather be.
While I hung up yet another load of washing this morning, did the dishes yet again, and vacuumed the floor, I found myself wishing I was somewhere else. My family is on their way to a spontaneous wk end away down the coast, my long time friends are bushwalking up the mountain and my church friends are all brunching together. But I am here, with husband sleeping off a gastro bug and bub and I still not fully recovered. Maybe it's the being stuck at home all week sick that has got me feeling this way, or the insane emotional waves I get while pregnant, or perhaps it's just the reality that we are all on this pursuit in our lives.. the pursuit of happiness.
Thinking of the days gone by, spent with loved ones and those beautiful friends that hold such a dear place in your heart. Thinking of days spent travelling and exploring new places. Thinking of dancing into the night under the stars in Kenya, tasting deli delights in Italy. Thinking of those younger years when I could write music all day long, read in the sun, and then walk and laugh in the moonlight. Thinking of those times spent studying and learning, full of dreams and visions for the future. Thinking of all those big brown eyes and little rugged hands that wanted to hold mine, and days spent with a classroom of little hearts that so longed for love. Thinking of a God breathed purpose, unknown yet wonderful at the same time. And somehow all these things feel like they are just slipping through my fingers, getting further and further out of my reach.
Yet, despite all this, I put Toby down for his morning nap, he puts his arms tightly around my neck and rests his head on my shoulder. He says 'Mumma' while holding me close and in that moment, my heart is full and there is no where else I would rather be.
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