This IS my mission today!
Ever had that impatient feeling where you have been rocking/singing to/settling your baby for what feels like hours on end (actually is hours) and you are thinking 'When will this end? When will he finally go to sleep?' That feeling that you have accomplished nothing today; the dishes are still piled up on the bench and the washing from yesterday is still in the machine to hang out. You haven't even socialised with anyone in days or put in any hours working on your next project or big idea. You can feel the frustration growing inside you as you leave the room and your babe once again begins to cry. My next move is often to fall on my bed with a sigh and either begin to cry or lie there staring at the ceiling.
Sometimes in these hours of unsettledness and complete torture, I try to put washing away, do some quick jobs, walk out onto the balcony for some fresh air, or just wander around the house aimlessly. And before you say it, no I don't think I need to sleep train him or go to tresillian, because I know that more than often the problem is either teething or tummy cramps or the latest gastro bug that is going around. On top of fixing the problem, my little man also wants comfort, to know I am there. I have come to understand that that is OK. It is actually OK that he needs me there to fall asleep. One day he won't need me, but for now I don't feel the need to teach him to self settle. I have come to realise that settling him and being with him is actually the most important thing, the top priority and my mission for today.
This realisation has freed me. During those hours of going in and out of bubs room (mostly in), I have started to think 'this IS what I am doing today. Maybe I won't get to the epic list of things I planned to do, but this moment right here, holding my darling who is in pain or just simply needs a cuddle, is actually what I need to do today.' Rather than wishing away the time, I am trying to find patience, and honestly the only way I can find patience most days is to pray.
It is a hard gig, I know that. But it is my mission today, my job today, my privilege today. And if I go to bed tonight with my list still untouched, at least I know there is a little settled happy heart sleeping peacefully, knowing Mum and Dad and there for him no matter what.
Sometimes in these hours of unsettledness and complete torture, I try to put washing away, do some quick jobs, walk out onto the balcony for some fresh air, or just wander around the house aimlessly. And before you say it, no I don't think I need to sleep train him or go to tresillian, because I know that more than often the problem is either teething or tummy cramps or the latest gastro bug that is going around. On top of fixing the problem, my little man also wants comfort, to know I am there. I have come to understand that that is OK. It is actually OK that he needs me there to fall asleep. One day he won't need me, but for now I don't feel the need to teach him to self settle. I have come to realise that settling him and being with him is actually the most important thing, the top priority and my mission for today.
This realisation has freed me. During those hours of going in and out of bubs room (mostly in), I have started to think 'this IS what I am doing today. Maybe I won't get to the epic list of things I planned to do, but this moment right here, holding my darling who is in pain or just simply needs a cuddle, is actually what I need to do today.' Rather than wishing away the time, I am trying to find patience, and honestly the only way I can find patience most days is to pray.
It is a hard gig, I know that. But it is my mission today, my job today, my privilege today. And if I go to bed tonight with my list still untouched, at least I know there is a little settled happy heart sleeping peacefully, knowing Mum and Dad and there for him no matter what.
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