When the Well runs dry...
My 3 year old does this thing. If he thinks I have been talking to someone else for too long he will turn my face to his with both his hands, holding my head firm and look me in the eyes, determined to get my attention. As you can imagine, this makes it almost impossible to continue a conversation.
I have 2 demanding, active, engaged, alert, high energy boys. I know that about them. Both of them barely stop talking, singing, laughing, crying or screaming from the moment they wake to the moment they sleep (and they have never been big sleepers) and they want me to be a part of every single moment. And that is OK. If there is a moment of quiet in the house, it is normally for a reason, like they are up to something they know they shouldn't be or we have reached an over tired exhausted 'attempted melt down preventing' TV time. It is very rare for me to be able to use the toilet solo or sit for more than a minute without little arms and feet climbing over me.
Over the years I have observed other children in awe at how quiet they can be or how well they simply follow instructions without fuss. I have seen my friend's children sit and eat their entire meal by themselves without any intervention from their parents! This is a like a dream to me, when almost every meal time feels like a high stakes assignment (I'm the spy sent on a super challenging, highly dangerous secret mission most don't return from), or a wrestle through a jungle with a stubborn cranky determined lion who roars back at you with every mouthful.
Although my boys posses qualities that may be difficult to deal with now when they are little, I know these qualities (determination, persistence, active, always wanting to learn something new, constantly wanting to be challenged) will make them world changers when they grow up! But for now, I am learning how to grow and survive and hopefully thrive in this demanding role as a Mother. My boys need my attention and I want to give it to them. They should get the love and time and adoration that they want and I need to find ways to make sure I can give them that.
Today marks day 3 of no breastfeeding for my little man Finley. He is 19 months and I think we were both ready, me more than him I think. After fighting off a chest infection and viral thing the past few weeks, and being in and out of sickness way too often over the past few years, I am hopefully looking forward to a season of health! I realised that this is the first time in 4 years that I haven't been either pregnant or breastfeeding. I have in some way been the source of life and nourishment for another human body for 4 years! That is exhausting. Your bodies resources are drained, so much of your physical, emotional and mental being is being channelled into someone else. Your well runs dry. Over the past few years I have battled phenomena, bronchitis, many hospital and emergency visits, broken bones, reaccuring chest issues, and of course, Mum sleep deprivation which is not to be looked upon lightly.
I am realising more and more that we need to find ways as Mums to refill our tank. It gets so hard to continuously give and give to our kids (& husband, work, career, studies etc) if we don't keep filling up our own tank. So I am entering a self-professed season of 'ME!' I know this sounds selfish but it's actually not. It I look after ME, I can look after everyone and everything else in my life better.
I have always been someone who loves to be there for my friends, help out others in need, say Yes to opportunities, be social and be around other people. I am actually having to teach myself how to do the opposite of these things. As much as all those things are great, I am needing to more and more now say No, realise I can't help everyone and be realistic about how much I can do without running my well dry.
So if you have called me and I haven't called back, or if I haven't been there for you as much as I have in the past, or forgot to invite you to that social event, I apologise. But please just remember Mums are fighting a battle everyday. The battlefield of nappies, and endless washing, preparing countless healthy meals, swimming lessons, music lessons, soccer days, school projects. All in the while trying to have quality time and provide their kids with great opportunities to learn and grow. On top of that, we have to organise our own lives too, work, study, remember all the birthdays, events etc etc. Somewhere in amongst all that, we are still a person. I am still me, and I need to also remember I need love and attention and need to be nourished and watered and cared for.
So to all the Mums out there, please please PLEASE remember to look after your bodies. Find ways to re-fill your tank and love yourself more. Big love xx
I have 2 demanding, active, engaged, alert, high energy boys. I know that about them. Both of them barely stop talking, singing, laughing, crying or screaming from the moment they wake to the moment they sleep (and they have never been big sleepers) and they want me to be a part of every single moment. And that is OK. If there is a moment of quiet in the house, it is normally for a reason, like they are up to something they know they shouldn't be or we have reached an over tired exhausted 'attempted melt down preventing' TV time. It is very rare for me to be able to use the toilet solo or sit for more than a minute without little arms and feet climbing over me.
Over the years I have observed other children in awe at how quiet they can be or how well they simply follow instructions without fuss. I have seen my friend's children sit and eat their entire meal by themselves without any intervention from their parents! This is a like a dream to me, when almost every meal time feels like a high stakes assignment (I'm the spy sent on a super challenging, highly dangerous secret mission most don't return from), or a wrestle through a jungle with a stubborn cranky determined lion who roars back at you with every mouthful.
Although my boys posses qualities that may be difficult to deal with now when they are little, I know these qualities (determination, persistence, active, always wanting to learn something new, constantly wanting to be challenged) will make them world changers when they grow up! But for now, I am learning how to grow and survive and hopefully thrive in this demanding role as a Mother. My boys need my attention and I want to give it to them. They should get the love and time and adoration that they want and I need to find ways to make sure I can give them that.
Today marks day 3 of no breastfeeding for my little man Finley. He is 19 months and I think we were both ready, me more than him I think. After fighting off a chest infection and viral thing the past few weeks, and being in and out of sickness way too often over the past few years, I am hopefully looking forward to a season of health! I realised that this is the first time in 4 years that I haven't been either pregnant or breastfeeding. I have in some way been the source of life and nourishment for another human body for 4 years! That is exhausting. Your bodies resources are drained, so much of your physical, emotional and mental being is being channelled into someone else. Your well runs dry. Over the past few years I have battled phenomena, bronchitis, many hospital and emergency visits, broken bones, reaccuring chest issues, and of course, Mum sleep deprivation which is not to be looked upon lightly.
I am realising more and more that we need to find ways as Mums to refill our tank. It gets so hard to continuously give and give to our kids (& husband, work, career, studies etc) if we don't keep filling up our own tank. So I am entering a self-professed season of 'ME!' I know this sounds selfish but it's actually not. It I look after ME, I can look after everyone and everything else in my life better.
I have always been someone who loves to be there for my friends, help out others in need, say Yes to opportunities, be social and be around other people. I am actually having to teach myself how to do the opposite of these things. As much as all those things are great, I am needing to more and more now say No, realise I can't help everyone and be realistic about how much I can do without running my well dry.
So if you have called me and I haven't called back, or if I haven't been there for you as much as I have in the past, or forgot to invite you to that social event, I apologise. But please just remember Mums are fighting a battle everyday. The battlefield of nappies, and endless washing, preparing countless healthy meals, swimming lessons, music lessons, soccer days, school projects. All in the while trying to have quality time and provide their kids with great opportunities to learn and grow. On top of that, we have to organise our own lives too, work, study, remember all the birthdays, events etc etc. Somewhere in amongst all that, we are still a person. I am still me, and I need to also remember I need love and attention and need to be nourished and watered and cared for.
So to all the Mums out there, please please PLEASE remember to look after your bodies. Find ways to re-fill your tank and love yourself more. Big love xx
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