Listen to your Mumma instinct

So finally we are coming to the end of Toby's first winter. I remember being pregnant thinking 'Having a winter baby is going to be the best! We will be all snuggly and cozy, not too hot breastfeeding, and I can dress Toby in cute beanies and knits.' Well it definitely wasn't as glamorous as I imagined it. In reality, our first winter together looked more like a screaming baby while I tried to dress him in multiple layers and countless colds, flus and infections.

After being at the doctor almost every week for most of winter, I started to feel like a paranoid Mum. My doctor kept reassuring me that it is normal for a babies first winter to be a snuffly one, with bubs having up to 12 infections in their first year. Poor Tobs seemed to have more than most, and I was getting desperate after months of very little sleep for us all.  After yet another visit to the Doctor, I was told again there is nothing we can give him (apart from panadol and the usual remedies) so I went home with a sigh. Although I was trying to stay hopeful, I remember saying to Hubby 'It seems to be getting worse not better!'

The next week was struggle street. It's so horrible to see your little one unwell. I was always so amazed at how happy he still was (when it wasn't sleep time) and how well he coped with such little sleep. What a trooper. In saying that. we had many nights where Tobias would just cry anytime you put him down. He was not himself. Both Hugh and I thought he may have had an ear infection. I knew I should of gone to the doctor, but I kept hearing my doctors words in my head; 'There is nothing more you can do. You just have to wait it out'.

A few days later, I dragged my half shell of a human and my still sick bub to the doctors yet again. I said to my doctor I suspected he has an ear infection, to which she replied 'It's probably just wax'. When she looked in his left ear, she said with alarm in her voice 'Oh yes, he has had quite a severe infection. His ear drum has burst also which would of caused him a lot of pain. If you had come sooner I could of prescribed antibiotics, but his body has already started healing itself so no need for that anymore'. Of course I then felt like the worst parent in the world. If only I had taken him to the doctor a few days prior when I knew something was wrong. I did think of how my Mum always says antibiotics should only be taken when absolutely necessary, so that made me feel a little better. But at least we would of known what we were dealing with (and I probably would of given him antibiotics anyway).

So now I know, ALWAYS listen to your Mumma instinct. It doesn't matter if I am at the doctors everyday. So what if someone thinks I'm a paranoid Mum. What's important is my darling getting well.

Finally, I would like to announce (insert drum roll, trumpet call, applause and every other type of joyful noise here) that Tobias finally seems to be sickness free! I never realised how much your child's health would affect you and your everyday life. I am beyond happy.

P.S. I think next baby will be a spring baby.